Sinful Pleasure
by ZRBxSTITCHES
Summary: A behind the scene look at the sins who made Ed's life a living hell. Kinda random...


Title: Sinful Pleasure

Summary: Life and times of the seven sins. Dead people need no romance, so there is none. Mostly random.

Disclaimer: I do not own FMA. If I did...I would be bathing naked in a tub full of money.

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Sinful Pleasure

It was a dark day in Underground Central. But, it always was so it didn't matter. Lust, Envy, Greed, Sloth, and Wrath were playing a competitive game of poker. "This is the third time you delt a bad hand, Greed," Envy said with much anger. "Don't blame me, I wasn't the one who brought us cards with kittens on them," Greed said now staring at Gluttony in the corner.  
"But kittens are delicious," Gluttony druled. "I swear Gluttony,  
I'm going to get you some Jenny Craig," Lust threatend. Gluttony now quiet in the corner, fed on the small mice.

Two hours later...

Lust, Envy, and Wrath were still at it in poker. Greed had fallen asleep. Sloth was on the wine. "How many glasses have you had, Sloth?" Lust asked. "Ha ha ha...Jewish," Sloth answered.  
"Four Queens," Envy said with a grin. reaching for the pile, Envy was stopped by one of Lust's nails. "Straight Flush"  
Lust said with a smirk. "Old maid. I win!" Wrath said with an innocent smile. But Envy fixed that with a back hand. The commotion had woken Greed up. "That time already huh," Envy said. Time for bed.

Next morning...

A hungry Wrath awoke to the smell of pancakes. Excited, he ran down stairs to see Sloth cooking with a pink, frilly apron on. "Good morning, mommy," Wrath ran over and gave Sloth a hug. "Ohh... not so hard, mommy has a hangover," Sloth said with a look of pain on her face. Wrath ate the food without question. Sloth had taken off her apron and headed out the door. "Mommy, where are you going?" asked Wrath. "Mommy has a mission to carry out for our master"  
Sloth said with a gentle smile.

At the mountain's base, Sloth met up with Lust, Greed, and Envy.  
"Where the hell were you?" asked Envy. Sloth had ignored the question and began to walk up the mountain path. Lust, Greed, and Envy followed...

Lust and Greed walked up ahead of Sloth and Envy. "G-Greed, are you reading a bible?" Lust asked. "Yeah, I got it when we went to Disney World, it was in the nitestand in the hotel. Did you know that were named after sins?" Greed returned a question. "I think you being a sin and reading a bible is an oxymoron," Lust bluntly. "You're the only sinful one. I never killed anyone. But,  
hey let me help you compensate for all those sins." Greed grinned.  
"Oh, thank you," Lust said. Greed then smacked her with the bible.  
"Sin, begone!" Greed shouted and smacked her again. "Oh, thank you so much," Lust said tearfully. "I can do it again if you want me to," Greed stated. "You must really care about me to help me like this," Lust told. Greed smacked with his bible a few times after.

In the back, Envy and Sloth were listening to their iPod. "All the pimps in the hood, drop it like it's hawt, drop it like it's hawt,  
drop it like it's hawt. If a pimp try and get wit you, drop it like it's hawt, drop it like it's hawt, drop it like it's hawt," Envy and Sloth sang in unison.

Back in Underground Central, Wrath was being chased by Gluttony.  
"Master, Gluttony is trying to eat me again." Wrath complained.  
"Wrath, let me tell you the magic word to stop Gluttony." Dante said. She walked in front of Wrath and was preparing to stop the charging Gluttony. "...DIET!" Dante yelled. Just then, Gluttony reached a full stop, shaking.

Lust, Greed, Envy and Sloth had finally reached the top of the mountain. There, stood a dark and dreary mansion. "What are we doing here?" Greed asked. "There have been sightings of another humonculus in there," Lust answered. They entered the mansion.

The inside was dark. There were two doors to the right and left of them. "Alright, we'll split up. Greed and Envy, take the left.  
Me and Sloth will take the right," Lust explained. They walked through the doors they were assigned.

"A greenhouse..." Greed said with amazement. "Grass," Envy said with little amazement. The room was a beautiful green. Plants of all colors were aligned in pots. "Ducks!" Greed shouted.  
"Those are peacocks," Envy shouted back.

On Lust's side, there was nothing that much better. "Where exactly is this humonculus?" Sloth asked. "It should be in here," Lust answered. Walking around, Lust noticed a plate of cake on the ground. "Cake!" Lust yelled. While running to the cake, she tripped and fell, sliding on her face. Poor Lust is out. Sloth walked up the stairs. While walking she sees a girl with blonde hair step in front of her. "Oh my god, it's.  
Britteny Spears," Sloth said with anger. "You got it ho. I'm the new humonculus." Brittney stated as she walked down the stairs. Sloth quickly shot some water at Brittney but she moved and threw a chair at Sloth. Sloth took in the chair and shot it back at Brittney. Lust joined in and shot her nails at Brittney. The nail stab her in the boob and air began to fly out.

After Brittney was finished deflating, Lust unmasked her. "Jinkys, it's Anna Nicole Smith!" Lust and Sloth said in unison. "I would've gotten away with it too, if it weren't for you pesky--" At that moment Lust shot a nail through Anna. "I hate cliched lines," Lust finished.

Greed and Envy met back up with Lust and Sloth. And the Group headed home.

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The End

This being my first story, please comment me. 


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